The end of March

MArch ends...I can just about smell summer in the air.

It doesn't really signify the end of anything....the legal case against my former accountants continues, as does the IRS investigation (a side affect from having corrupt accountants). With any luck we'll clear it up without huge expense.

Latest update on Ryu & Jew Girl is she's gone back to London (Jew Girl), Ryu's stuck at home without his dad or bro and only 10 quid. He phoned on Wednesday to let me know he was cashing in all his copper coins to get some cigarettes. At 32, Ryu is really showing his independence. His dad/bro won't be back till the weekend so no doubt he'll need to ponce some meals from somewhere...the gas is already cut off and there's no food in the fridge.

Anyway, here's to barbeques, sunshine, car waxing and chillin' oot over the summer...may it be a good one!

Punctures!

After a cross headed screw worked it's way into my rear tyre on the Lex, I got another one today on the Mondy. Same cross headed screw. Having found a 6-inch nail on my driveway only yesterday, I was somewhat suspicous of foul play.

It could be bad luck....the theory is the front wheel goes over the screw and it stands it 'upright' then the rear tyres goes over it and voila - une puncture monsieur!

In any case, had to go see the wanker/cocksucker with the mohekan at National tyres, what a knob cheese. Beat him down from 98 quid to 90 quid for some non-descript tyre, but I didn't have time to fanny around. Normally would've fitted the spare then shopped around, but the jack in the Mondy doesn't exist. Had to drive on the flat and there was smoke pouring off it in the end.

Now checking my driveway daily for screws...

GTA Bud-a Gets Fired

Yup, it's happened. GTA Bud-a is gone, mutually laid-off from any more Grand Theft Auto work, no longer a Rockstar employee. 3 months on full pay however ain't bad, but he's got no reference from the company. Hopefully he'll get another job soon, but it's not gonna be in computer games.

Life is a journey....

Racetrack @ Crail

Another racetrack day...round smelly Crail airfield. Although it's bumpy, some of the stones were swept up this time. Still ended up with a puncture (think it was
a screw I picked up before then).

Great day, went round 4-deep in the Lex...only fat boy in the E30 Beamer spoiled it by not letting me by safely even though I was way faster. Pulled 1.0G on the drift ring.

Dropped Blurry off, then back out on the M74 only to find it closed...had to forfeit my dinner due to being late back, not happy!

Till the next one....

Cuntdown

Carol Vorderman made a bit of an arse of this one :

http://www.geekgifts.co.uk/countdown/

Work, work work!

Its true to say that I have the 'eye of the tiger' crap going on just now. A new drive to work my ass off - I need my 6-figure salary back like a pregnant woman needs her figure back. Worse.

Having finally made a list of all the compu-work I have to do, its not a daunting task, more a pain in the ass. Maybe as you get older the cynicism gives you that confidence to tackle big tasks head on with a depression rather than a fear. No seriously, I know how good it will feel when I've got everything clicking, it's just I'd like it all done yesterday.

Pah! Well, I'm about to order tuning parts for my car so that should give me some motivation to work harder. Fortunately, I've gone off my PS2 just a bit. Probably a good thing.

Gym Bull-shit

It's amazing the crap you hear in the gym. In fact the whole culture attracts male idiots.

One guy was talking about shaggin' on Viagra

"Aye man, I wiz shaggin' on that fuckin' viagra, fuckin' frenzied wiv the bird I hud at the time, we were so fucked up on the viagra I said 'whit hole do I stick it in' and she said 'any wan'."

It gets more complicated.

The conversation in the gym can sometimes go 'see that fuckin' thing, whit the fuck is it called, fuck, I've forgotten the fuckin' name of that. fuck!' - the gym talk can be that deep.

The usual hoodlums were there - Tiny the Steroid abuser , ex-steroid user (now fat) and our Asian/Pakistani brothers who join in the white man 'fuckin', fuck-fuck' talk also. Skippin' rope man was there also, making a nusciance of himself by skipping in the central weight lifting area.

Till the next workout...

Jobi Traffic jam

A jobi due at 9AM didn't arrive till 9PM - not exactly an efficent bowel movement service.

It's true to say fellow companions (Snota) did in fact complain of the sewer-type smells eminating from my butt prior to launch.

The traffic jam in my intestine is clear now, just thought I'd share that with everyone.

Ryu & Jew Girl Part II

Turns out Jew Girl wasn't all that sick - she was out at the supermarket Sat nite, then skiing Sunday - Tuesday in Glencoe with Ryu. Hmmm....in any case she is 'riled' that I commented she wasn't coming over to see the posse infected with germs. Well, would you want to catch cold/flu/SARS?

The proposal was for Wednesday nite (yesterday), but hey, that was Snota's birthday (29th) so I don't think it was appropriate. And besides, it was Ryu 'if I can persuade Jew Girl to drive over'...yeah, yeah, more ifs and maybes. If someone said to Ryu 'MAYBE we'll post your social security cheque out', 'IF you're a good boy' then the whole definition of 'ifs and maybes' would become apparently to our Streetfighter II character.

They are maybe departing from Scotland today (Thursday), but hey, they don't seem to have any definites in their sked-ule...it's more of : 'maybe', 'we'll see how we feel'. Sadly life has to be a little more organised than that for Yoshi and definitely for Snota.

Mothers Day

Well, it's taken me till Thursday to write about Mothering Sunday.

The normal affair, talked to death by my mother, sister sits quietly enjoying the flak being taken by Yoshi.

Still, the food at the Shenaz restaurant in Glasgow is probably the best in the world. Having ate at http://www.papingo.co.uk/ (Glasgow) , Yen (Glasgow) and Le Palais du Jardin in London, two very good restaurants, I still say Shenaz is No.1. Special beef & vegetable pakora rate as the best in the world at Shenaz. Sorry no web site, look them up in the Yella pages.

Gym Exodus

All the New Year resolution gym-goers were absent today...it looks like the fitness centres population is becoming normal once again. Absent also were the lazy housewives who don't have much to do except waste their days away at the sports centre and spend their husbands money. Don't get me wrong, not all women are wasters, just the ones that appear at the gym at 10.00AMish in their 4x4s after dropping their brats off at school and the rest of their day free....what a lovely life.

WHat was I doing there at that time? I'm on flexi-time, so I go to the gym when I want but will work till 8/9PM tonite to make up for it.

I feel so much better now thatz done - I'm writing this down so I can remember when I feel lazy. Bis/Tris/shoulders/abs + 11KM on the bike - a narley 90 minutes of sweat. The endorphin rush is sweet.

Yesterdays visit from Bud-a revealed he's been suspended from work for gross misconduct till Friday. Wether he'll get fired shortly is evens odds at the bookies.

The imminent arrival of Ryu and Jew Girl is upon us....supposedly invading Scotland on March 1st, no doubt there has been some delay as the reliability of Ryu is sub-zero, if not -10 at best. Why Ryu? Well, imagine 'Ryu' from Streetfighter the video game with glasses and a alcohol problem and you have the right picture.

More on those trumpets when/if they arrive....

Crazy car driving

Todays movie links to insaneness :

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/badcorner.html

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/bmwdrift.html

Grand Theft Auto Bud-a Visits

The Bud-a has just called to interrupt my work schedule.

He'll be here in 30 minutes, lock up your daughters.

Bud-a works on Grand Theft Auto video game. Not that he has a good word to say about GTA or Rockstar games...I don't mind as I have the t-shirts, baseball caps and now the GTA jacket.

GTA is mindless crap at best. But mindless crap is what people want. I'm still waiting on Gran Turismo 4 like the rest of the planet....

120MPH isn't fast enough

Turns out my Blitz Speed Jumper for my Aristo V300 car (otherwise known as a Lexus GS to others) is incompatible. Having bought it 3 years ago, I can't pursue a refund. It looks like it'll end up on Ebay.

So I'm stuck at 120mph speed limit...the car can do 175mph. Was embarrassed by a 2004 model BMW M3 convertible last week which had no more power but pushed ahead of me to 150MPH+, therefore prompting my action to figure out the fitting of the speed jumper (poor instructions and thick mechanics delayed the whole thing originally).

Too fast? When you don't (a) drink (b) smoke (c) do drugs, you need some sort of buzz otherwise (d) you will kill someone. Obviously I could go back to doing (a), (b) and (c) but then I'd just be like everyone else.

GetYoshi is born

It's time. Time for this crud on the Internet to be banished. Time for spam to be obliterated. Time for GetYoshi blog.